Best Restaurant Manners and Etiquette

How to be a Great Restaurant Customer and Get Good Service

Sep 5, 2009

When restaurant customers follow the dining out rules of etiquette, they can expect to receive the best service.

Whether dining for business or pleasure, waitresses remember their customers. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner waitresses know who the customers are, where they like to sit, what they like to eat and drink and how much they tip. This is why well-mannered customers who follow the rules of etiquette and tip well can expect better service than rude people and those who tip poorly.

Reservations and Best Restaurant Customer Behavior

Make a reservation. Restaurant customers have every right to walk in during business hours in the hope of being seated and fed. Letting the restaurant know ahead of time just makes it easier for them to accommodate, especially if there is a big party.
Cancel the reservation. When people know that their plans have changed, it is common courtesy to let the restaurant know. In the rare instances when this is not possible, it is polite to call later to apologize for the inconvenience.

Restaurant Etiquette

Say "please" when ordering and "thank you" when receiving. These small kindnesses make a big difference. Servers are human beings who appreciate politeness and will want to make you happy in return for the respect.
Do not demand to know your server's name, where she lives, or other personal information. It is none of your business, and rude. It may also make her uncomfortable, which will result in her approaching your table less often.
Do not waive your arms across the restaurant, lift your glass, or perform other calisthenics to get attention. Eye contact and a nod will do.
Do not bark "We're hungry!" when the waitress says "hello". Some people think this is funny, but it sends a message to the server that the customer is a boor.
Do not immediately demand drinks or anything else. A server will offer and bring things in due course. If you are told, "I'll be right with you," believe it. Don't say, "Okay, but can I get a beer?"

Allergies

Tell your server if you have allergies. Do not expect every ingredient for every dish to be listed on the menu; do expect the server and kitchen to prevent customers receiving anything that will cause illness.
Do not lie about allergies. If you don't like tomatoes, ask to have the dish prepared without tomatoes (if possible). A good restaurant will accommodate customer requests as much as it reasonably can. Lie about being allergic and not only will the kitchen go to extra trouble to not contaminate your dish, but when you order something else that has tomatoes and insist you can eat it everybody will know you are a liar. And they will remember.

Etiquette for Children

Children are members of society and should be brought places such as restaurants. Parents need to teach children how to behave while out and about. When bringing young children to a restaurant:

Bring appropriate activities. Some restaurants have coloring pages and crayons or children's books available for customers. Feel free to bring something for the children to do at the table.
Require that children stay at the table. Children running around in a restaurant is a health hazard. The child may trip somebody, get their hand caught in a door, fall down stairs, or somehow get hurt or hurt somebody else. Walkways in restaurants are busy places.

How to Tip

Tip on the wine. The waitress took the wine order, fetched the wine and glasses, opened the bottle, and poured the wine. Tip on the wine or don't order it.
Reward decent service with a 20% tip. What goes around comes around; take care of the waitress and she will take care of you.

What to do About Bad Service

Unfortunately, it does happen. Sometimes restaurant customers have legitimate complaints about the poor service they received.

Speak with the host or hostess in a polite tone of voice about the situation. Regardless of how upsetting it may feel, do not raise your voice.
Tell the hostess what happened and why it upset you. Include facts and do not make it personal. For example: "I waited 20 minutes before my server seemed to notice me," is better than "that idiot ignored me for 20 minutes!"
Write a letter detailing the problem and mail it to the manager. Or ask for the manager's name and when is a good time to call.
Lowering the tip to 15% or 10% will not remedy the situation but is still an appropriate course of action.
If you write or call, include when you were in the restaurant and the server's identifying information printed on your receipt.

A good restaurant will want to remedy situations in which customers are receiving bad service, but in order to do so the managers need to be told what happened.

The copyright of the article Best Restaurant Manners and Etiquette in Consumer Education is owned by Beth Taylor. Permission to republish Best Restaurant Manners and Etiquette in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.